Lily Clairet, Vol. 4 (Light Novel) by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub

It was a first round knockout. I'd barely managed to step onto the futon before I found myself eating it. And that was because I accidentally tripped over its previous challenger.

“Lily.”

“What is it?”

“You're heavier than you look.”

“Sorry, Kaneko. I think I've gained weight.”

“Hey, you're a girl, aren't you? How can you say something so scandalous so easily? You have to cling onto that pride even if it costs you your life.”

“I lost my pride after that fifth helping of ice cream.”

“Which?”

“Apricot.”

“Oh, the glace à l'abricot aux amandes caramélisées .”

Impressive.

If I wasn't one tummy poke away from lying comatose on the back of a paramedic's stretcher, I would be applauding her for her faultless pronunciation. Surely, she could already move onto mastering the next language. How about Martian? They probably had a more limited dessert menu on Mars. It'd be easier to learn. Less powered sugar. Less self-loathing.

“What are you two doing?”

Sonoda's voice, steeped in unsympathy, called out to us.

I didn't need to look back to see her matching expression. I couldn't, anyway. It was very possible I was now permanently stuck in this position. Problematic, yes. But it could be worse.

I could be Kaneko.

“A ritualistic prayer?” said Sonoda. “No major world religion, certainly . . . a demonic cult, perhaps? Could you two not perform your invocation in the middle of the floor? It's making it difficult to move.”

I flattened the side of my face against the futon. I could feel the top of Kaneko's hair tickling my chin.

“Sonoda, I don't want you talking about difficulty moving. For one thing, this is worse for us than it is for you. For another, you were incapacitated earlier in a pose at least half as shameful as this one.”

“My incapacitation earlier was the result of being subjected to temperatures well beyond my control and expectations. Yours is the result of building enough fat reserves to last through the next planetary catastrophe.”

“U-Ugh . . .”

“I had no idea a comet was scheduled to strike. Has the evacuation notice been issued yet? Should we be seeking immediate shelter? I hope not. I don't want to repack my suitcase.”

“Ah, I'm so full,” said Kaneko, well beyond caring about either Sonoda's chides or the end of the world. “This is the life.”

I glanced down at the bed of orangey-chestnut.

“Is that so? . . . Because this kind of feels like death.”

I could practically hear Sonoda's arms cross and her eyes shut in despondency.

She deemed it fit to grace us with a class 1 sigh.

We'd officially passed the event horizon. Our image was not recovering after this one.

“Don't die here,” she said flatly. “It'll muddy the floor.”

Yes, that would be unfortunate.

We'd probably have to pay for any damage. I really didn't want my last act to be flinging a bill at Satake.

Deciding she didn't want to stand and sigh at us any longer than was mandatory, I heard Sonoda trudge off to the secret closet room where she had stashed her suitcase, presumably getting ready to repack.

Kaneko tried raising her head.

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